Batley Townswomen's Guild Presents the First Heart Transplant

(Cut to quick clip of the Battle of Pearl Harbor from show eleven, first series. Beginning with Eric blowing the whistle and the two sides rushing at each other. Cut back to announcer.)

Announcer: (John Cleese) That was last year's re-enactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbor performed by the Batley Townswomen's Guild. It was written, directed and produced by Mrs Rita Fairbanks.

(Cut to Rita Fairbanks on the beach.)

Rita: (Eric Idle) Hello again.

Voice Over: (Michael Palin) And what are your ladies going to do for us this year?

Rita: Well, this year we decided to re-enact something with a more modern flavour. We had considered a version of Michael Stewart's speech on Nigeria and there were several votes on the Committee for a staging of Herr Willi Brandt's visit to East Germany, but we've settled instead for a dramatization of the first heart transplant. Incidentally my sister Madge will be playing the plucky little springbok pioneer Christian Barnard.

Voice Over: Well off we go, then with the Barley Townswomen's Guild re-enactment of the first heart transplant.

(Rita Fairbanks blows her whistle. The two groups of ladies rush at each other. They end up in the sea, rolling about splashing, and thumping each other with handbags.)

Continue to the next sketch... First Underwater Production of 'Measure for Measure'