The Bishop of Leicester


Bishop of Leicester: (Michael Palin) It is the dawn of time. This earth we know so well is a smoldering, inhospitable place. No plants grow, no creature can survive. The hard, implacable rocks that form our mountain ranges are being crushed and folded by forces that will take millions of years to shape. These are the forces! This is the power that drives the hand that drinks 'Treadmill', the mighty lager, with the world's first great taste of fish!

Recording Coordinator: (Eric Idle) Bishop, don't say 'of fish'.

Bishop: Uhm?

Recording Coordinator: Don't say 'of fish' at the end. It doesn't mean anything.

Bishop: Ah, no, I see, fine. No 'of fish'. Right!

Recording Coordinator: Just go from 'these are the forces'.

Bishop: Right.

Recording Coordinator: I'll give you a green.

Bishop: What?

Recording Coordinator: I'll give you a green light.

Bishop: Oh, right, thank you! (Music starts again) These are the forces! This is the power that drives the band that drinks...

Recording Coordinator: Hand!

Bishop: Of course! Sorry! Sorry! Can't think what came over me!

Recording Coordinator: We'll, start again.

Bishop: What?

Recording Coordinator: We'll, start again, bishop. Same place.

Bishop: Oh, right. These are the forces! This is the power that drives the hand that drinks 'Treadmill', the mighty lager, with the world's first great taste of fish! Oh, damn! Sorry! Sorry!

Recording Coordinator: All right, just a moment.

Bishop: I'm terribly sorry, I remembered the hand, but forgot the...

Recording Coordinator: Yes, yes, that's all right. John, can we edit out the 'of fish'?

John: Yeah.

Recording Coordinator: Good. That's fine, thank you, bishop.

Bishop: All right, is it? Good! Terribly sorry about the silly slip. I don't know what came over me.

Man I: (Eric Idle, in a low voice) Who is he?

Man II: (Graham Chapman, in a low voice too) Bishop of Leicester, I think.

Man I: Well, why couldn't we get Bath and Wells?

Man II: He's doing frozen peas for Nigel.

Man I: Lucky bastard! He's so good.

Man II: Have you seen the Bishop of Wooster? Marvelous! He did an entire Snippety Dippedy gift catalog promo on one ski!

Man I: Really? Sshh! Here she comes!

Bishop: Ah, how was it? All right?

Man I: Marvelous!

Man II: Excellent!

Bishop: --- a bit of a mess.

Man I: Sorry?

Bishop: Well, all that stuff about the dawn of time and the rocks developing over millions of years, you know, not quite A-1 theory, you know?

Man I: It's only a commercial

Bishop: Oh, yes, yes, of course, course, I'm not criticizing, it's just, uhm, well... I mean, uh, not quite the creations we see it.

Man I: Well, good-bye.

Bishop: Good, good, fine, and the... and the check will be...

Man I: ...with your agent on Tuesday Bishop.

Bishop: Marvelous! Marvelous! Thank you so much! Oh, and sorry about the 'of fish', huh! You'd be able to remove that away, will you?

Man I: Yes, we can remove that.

Bishop: Oh, good. Wonderful what you can do nowadays, eh?

Man I: Yes, indeed!

Bishop: Well, toodlebit!