The Brave Sir Robin Song


Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O Brave Sir Robin.                    
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.            
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!                         
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,    
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.          
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,           
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!          
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,                      
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,                 
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off,              
And his penis...

(Robin interrupts the song)

(Robin encounters the 3-Headed Knight)

(After Robin runs away from the 3-Headed Knight)

MINSTREL: Brave Sir Robin ran away

ROBIN: No!

MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away

ROBIN: I didn't!

MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled

ROBIN: No!

MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about

ROBIN: I didn't!

MINSTREL (singing): And gallantly he chickened out Bravely taking to his feet

ROBIN: I never did!

MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat

ROBIN: Oh, lie!

MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Robin

ROBIN: I never!

(Later, when Robin meets up with King Arthur)

MINSTREL (singing): Packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering off
And chickening out and pissing off home
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge