The man who speaks only the ends of words/The man who speaks only the beginnings of words/The man who speaks only the middles of words
(Enter from back of set as per Eamonn Andrews show Mr Ohn Ith. He sits at the desk)
Mr Ith (Eric Idle): ...ood ...ing.
Interviewer (Terry Jones): Nice to have you on the show.
Mr Ith: ...ice ...o ...e ...ere.
Interviewer: Mr Ith, don't you find it very difficult to make yourself understood?
Mr Ith: Yes, it is extremely difficult.
Interviewer: Just a minute, you're a fraud.
Mr Ith: Oh no. I can speak the third and fourth sentences perfectly normally.
Interviewer: Oh I see. So your next sentence will be only the ends of words again?
Mr Ith: ..T's ...ight.
Interviewer: Well, let's move on to our next guest who speaks only the beginnings of words, Mr J... Sm... Mr Sm... good evening.
(Enter Mr Sm.)
Mr Sm: G... e...
Interviewer: Well, have you two met before?
Mr Sm: N...
Mr Ith: ...o
Mr Sm: N...
Mr Ith: ...o
Interviewer: Well, this is really a fascinating occasion because we have in the studio Mr ... oh ... I ... who speaks only the middles of words. Good evening.
(Enter Scot.)
Scot: .... oo ...... ni...
Interviewer: Um, where do you come from?
Scot: . .. u... i... a...
Interviewer: Dunfermline in Scotland. Well let me introduce you, Mr Ohn Ith...
Mr Ith: ...ood ...ing.
Scot: ... oo ...... ni...
Interviewer: J... Sm...
Scot: ... oo ...... ni...
Mr Sm: G... Eve...
Interviewer: Yes, well, ha, ha, just a moment. Perhaps you would all like to say good evening together.
Mr Sm: G...
Scot: . .. oo...
Mr Ith: ... d
Mr Sm: Eve...
Scot: ... ni...
Mr Ith: ... ing.
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