The Medical Love Song
Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile
I've had balanital chancroids
For quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June
I ache for you, my darling,
And I hope you'll get well soon
My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores,
Your moenelial infection
How I miss you more and more
Your dobies itch my scrum-pox
Ah, lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying
When we said that we were clear
Our syphilitic kisses
Sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules,
With a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis
Sent shivers down my spine
I got snailtracks in my anus
When your spirochetes met mine
Gonococcal urethritis
Streptococcal balanitis
Meningomyelitis
Diplococcal catholitis
Epidydimitis
Interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic coronitis
And anterior ureitis.
My clapped-out genitalia
Is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee
My doctor says my buboes
Are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotums painted orange
And my balls are turning green
My heart is very tender
But my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected
But you never were a bore
I'm dying from your love, my love,
I'm your spirochetal clown
I've left my body to science,
But I'm afraid they've turned it down
Gonococcal urethritis
Streptococcal balanitis
Meningomyelitis
Diplococcal catholitis
Epidydimitis
Interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic coronitis
And anterior ureitis.
Download the MIDI version here